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Man’s sister doesn’t want him to come home after he moved out and lost his job

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Man’s sister doesn’t want him to come home after he moved out and lost his job

SINGAPORE: A 32-year-old male took to an online news forum on Wednesday (April 17) for advice after considering moving out of his toxic home environment.

Despite providing for his mother and jobless sister, he claims they regularly get into fights. The dilemma he faces, however, is that he has his own property which he is renting out to tenants.

Does he kick them out and move there? Or rent his own place? “Is it prudent for me to move out?” he asked.

The man was vulnerable enough to share his background story, explaining, “Two years ago, I was doing quite well in my tech job. I wanted to move out, so I bought a 2-bedroom condo. I was also quite tired of staying with family.

My mom is a single parent (my dad passed away 10 years ago), and my older sister (36) also lives at home. However, she has mental health issues and doesn’t work. My mom gives her an allowance.

So I finally got my condo and moved out. I wiped out my savings for the downpayment and took on a reno loan. I know, bad idea, my initial plan was to stay with my family and keep saving money so I had more of a cushion before I moved out.

But I couldn’t stand living at home anymore.”

The man shared that his home environment was “so unbearable” that, despite being broke, he moved out.

“Every day (I’d) quarrel with my sibling, and my mom constantly sided with my sister,” he said. “I used my credit cards to buy furniture and appliances on instalment plans. I thought I would be okay cos my salary was decent.”

An unexpected turn of events

However, in an unexpected turn of events, he was retrenched early this year. “I panicked because I didn’t know how I would afford my mortgage, reno loan, and credit card instalments,” he said. I tried looking for a job but couldn’t find anything.”

He then said that his mother suggested renting out two rooms in his condo while he moved back in with her and his sister while looking for a new job.

“So I did just that. I found some good tenants and moved back to my old room in my mom’s flat,” he said.

“However, my older sister did not like that one bit. She had gotten used to ruling the place while I was away and using my old room as storage. So to stop the arguments my mom decided to put all my sister’s things in a storage unit.”

A silver lining

However, things look brighter for the man, as he shared, “I found a new job again.”

He is now trying to work out the setup with his tenants. “As much as I would like to move back to my condo, I already signed a one-year contract with my tenants and can’t just kick them out,” he explained.

“I also don’t know if I will pass my job’s probation or not. It’s too risky to move out now.”

The man said he felt “so unwelcome” in his mother’s place. “With my sister hating my presence and making my life miserable,” he added.

“I try to contribute by giving my mom an allowance, paying for groceries and utilities, cleaning the house, etc. My sis will just go and make the house messy again after I’m done cleaning.

This will cause shouting matches and once again my mom sides with sis cos she’s afraid my sis will get triggered and self-harm again.”

“I tried going back to my condo for a bit, as there is an unused helper’s room there that I used as storage (I didn’t rent out the whole unit, just two bedrooms to two separate tenants).

I put a single mattress there and spent a few nights to get away from my sis. Although I have every right to be there as the owner, I can also feel my tenants are not comfortable with me around.

So I don’t know what to do now. Once I pass probation, I thought of going to rent a room (closer) to my workplace. The rental money I get from the condo will easily cover it.

However, my best friend said I'(d be) crazy to rent a place when I own property. But the condo is about 1.5 hours travel time from my workplace. Also, I can’t kick out my tenants until 2025.”

A handful of online users responded to the post, encouraging him to go for the “rent a room” option. “Lots of people rent out their homes and rent a cheaper place to profit,” said one.

Others commented on the man’s family dynamic, with one sharing, “Seems like your sister is the problem and your mom is the enabler. There’s nothing to enable once your sister is away.”

Read also: “How do you cope?” — Singaporean parent struggling with childcare ask for advice from other parents

The post Man’s sister doesn’t want him to come home after he moved out and lost his job appeared first on The Independent Singapore News - Latest Breaking News

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